Praying Prayerfulness For Our Children

By Jason, M.Ed., M.A.R., Headmaster

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people." (Ephesians 6:18, NIV)

I sometimes find myself complaining loudly to my children that they complain too much.  At other times, I've noticed that I argue with them about how much they argue.  I know this is ineffective and even hypocritical, but it's amazing how easily I fall into the same old patterns again and again.  Why?  Because Satan loves to see me stumble and fall flat on my face, and so he keeps setting the same traps and I keep falling into them.

The call to prayer in Ephesians 6:18 comes in the context of a passage on spiritual warfare, which in emphasized here by the call to "be alert."  1 Peter 5:7-8 has a very similar and even more sobering call: "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."  Again, we see a call to prayerfulness ("Cast all your anxiety on him") with a call to be alert because of the reality of spiritual warfare.

Some of you may have eyes that are glazing over in disbelief at this point, if you're still reading.  You may be thinking- "Is this guy serious? Satan? Spiritual warfare?  What year is this anyway?  What kind of rock-brained troll is this guy anyway?"  So many people, even professing Christians who attend church regularly and are striving to raise their children to know the Lord, just do not take the devil seriously.  That's a shame, really, because the worst thing you can do when you're under attack is to be oblivious to the very existence of your enemy.

What does this have to do with prayer?  Well, if we're going to pray for and seek to develop a spirit of prayerfulness in our children, we need to begin with a clear understanding of the nature and purpose of prayer.  One of my favorite teachings on prayer comes from John Piper, who says,

"Life is war. That's not all it is. But it is always that. Our weakness in prayer is owing largely to our neglect of this truth. Prayer is primarily a wartime walkie-talkie for the mission of the church as it advances against the powers of darkness and unbelief . . . It is not surprising that prayer malfunctions when we try to make it a domestic intercom to call upstairs for more comforts in the den." (from The Supremacy of God in Preaching and Let the Nations Be Glad)

Once we understand the nature of the life we live as a continual war and the purpose of prayer in the context of that war, the nature of our prayer life and of the prayers we pray with and for our children will begin to be transformed.  As our prayer life is transformed, so will the nature of the expectations we have. 

Sometimes we and our children can get frustrated because we pray for the wrong things and then God does not answer our prayers.  We pray for comfort and healing and peace, with the goal of our own happiness and prosperity.  These kinds of prayers are not kingdom-minded, battlefield prayers.  Instead, when we pray for ourselves, we need to pray for strength for the battle, protection from our enemy, courage to stand for Christ.  When we pray for others, we need to pray the kinds of things that Paul prayed- that they would know and love Christ better and that they would be strong in the Lord.

So once our prayer lives are transformed, what do we need to do to instill this same attitude of battlefield prayerfulness in our children?  Here, one of my favorite and most convicting quotes comes to mind, from James Arthur Baldwin: "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." If we consistently and sincerely pray this way regularly with and for our children, God will take care of the rest.  Yet even as I write this, I know that I don't, and this drives me to prayer-

Lord Jesus, I am weak, but You are strong.  I can't do this, but You can.  I fall short, but You are all-sufficient.  Work in me and work through me, by Your grace and to Your glory.  Amen.

[Editor's Note: This post is the last contribution for our wonderful series on Biblical virtues and praying for our children. I firmly believe that as parents, it is part of our responsibility, and an honor, to pray to our Father in heaven on behalf of our children. I pray you are blessed and encouraged by the words of these posts and that you will join me in my passion for growing strong, confident, loving, honorable and faithful children of God. If you missed the first 12 posts, be sure to go and read them: Love for God's Word, Salvation for the Next Generation, Praying for the Willingness and Ability to Work, Biblical Self-Esteem: I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough... Or Am I?,  Love Is..., Perseverance; Faithfulness; Self-Control; Respect; Servant's Heart; Purity and Honesty and Integrity]

Jason is blessed to be married to a wonderful woman and to have three children (two boys, aged 6 and 3 and a baby girl). He serves as the Headmaster of a classical, Christian school and as an elder in his church. He enjoys strong coffee, good books and nature walks with his family.

Comments

[jasonS]

Definitely agree, Jason. The spiritual warfare is real and can be intense, but we are mighty in God through our prayers. Great thoughts as always. Thank you.